The Non-Crafter’s Guide to Holiday Crafting

 This is a PSA. If you are a crafter and stressed about holiday deadlines, leave this around and maybe people will stop bugging you. If you are not a crafter and you're reading this because you're reading my blog -- laugh, then take heed for the future. If you're not a crafter, you didn't come to my blog, and you're reading this because someone left this around -- you might be in need of this guide on a more immediate basis. I'm writing this for that third group, the brave souls sharing a house or deep friendship with a crafter during this holiday season (and my family, who are all in that group). 

What is Holiday Crafting?

Holiday crafting (this is just my definition) is crafting done under at least one of these conditions: a) it takes place during the holiday season and/or b) it is intended as a gift or decoration from the holiday season. Usually, this also refers to gifts made on a deadline during the holiday season. It can be any craft, and in any stage of completion. Stress is most likely to occur during the last stages of deadline crafting, especially right before the holiday. 

Signs of Stress in Crafters

It is vital that non-crafters learn to recognize signs of holiday-craft related stress. This will save you time and energy because you can determine appropriate responses more quickly. It will save the crafters valuable crafting time because they won't be answering questions like "are you stressed?" or "Why are you trying to warp the space time continuum?" every ten minutes. 

If you notice any of these symptoms, your crafter is likely stressed about the holidays (note that again, this is just my list. Your crafter may be different):

- counting projects and trying to cram six projects into three days (or worse, three hours) when they can't finish more than a project a day 

- considering whether half done projects are acceptable presents

- Neglecting housework, actual work, eating, sleeping, or anything else that isn't crafting

- taking crafts everywhere, including to other rooms of the house

- Refusing to accept realities such as the amount of hours in a day ("there has to be a way to get 27 hours in a day"), the amount of yarn left to use ("what do you mean, six balls of laceweight yarn aren't going to become a shawl in three hours"), or the biological need for sleep ("not. Happening. Period.")

- Crafting and walking, crafting and driving, or any other combination of activities that lets them replace transportation with crafts. 

- assuming that twelve days is plenty for three pairs of fingerless gloves and two pairs of socks, none of which are started yet

- Responding to reasonable questions with unusual levels of sarcasm, loud counting, or personal attacks on your level of devotion to the noble yarn arts

- Hiding in a closet crafting at a party

- Wrapping something at 2am on Christmas Day

- Denying being stressed, having too much to do, or having overcommitted earlier in the year (hint: if you're hearing "I'm not stressed! What do you mean I'm stressed?! What are you implying??!!", they're stressed. Especially if they then deny yelling)

What to Do About Stress

So you have a stressed crafter. What can you do about it?

- stop talking to them and interrupting their work. That should vastly improve their attitude

- Take something they have to do off their hands. Maybe don't do their actual work for them, but you could do a chore for them, help them wind yarn, stop complaining that you "don't know what the difference is between those two yarns! There isn't any difference! It doesn't matter!!!" 

- bring them tea or coffee or the beverage of their choice. This is best done about midnight if there's caffeine involved

- Accept the lack of sleep and patience. Don't comment on their resemblance to the grinch unless you want to find sharp things in your bed. 

- Stop making suggestions about how much easier buying gifts would be. At least until after Christmas. We really don't want to hear it. 

- remind them they are wonderful people and nobody will hate them forever if they can't finish an absurd amount of crafting in a minuscule amount of time 

- when all else fails, stop them from taking the yarn stash and moving to Antarctica "where it's quiet enough to get uninterrupted work done"

Reminders for You

Non-crafters, you might find our existence and this stage of the year strange. Keep in mind these few helpful dos and don'ts when dealing with crafters, however, and you should be a little safer from our pointy wrath. And hopefully stay on the list for handcrafted goods for next year. 

- Do stay calm. We aren't calm, so you have to be

- Don't insult the gift. It took tremendous time and energy to make whatever you received, and your crafter is probably running on caffeine and adrenaline by now. We don't want to hear your comments about the gift. Not now, not after the new year, not ever. See this guide for the way to show proper appreciation of crafted gifts, written by a formidable blogger who I admire greatly

- Don't be offended if you're the one getting an unfinished gift for Christmas! Think of it this way; you're the one we trust not to be mad that we didn't finish and to be patient until it's done

- Do warn them about commitments ahead of time. The right time to surprise someone with a holiday activity that has to be done at a certain time is never. Advance notice is your friend so the crafter can plan their projects accordingly and won't end up trying to walk around with stranded colorwork all day

- Don't try to force them to sleep. We will resent it and will end up with a book light and the project we need to finish hidden under the covers. Give up on your need to see us sleep 

- Do provide sugar and caffeine. That will go a long way in gaining favor with us

Tips from Other Non-Crafters

If you have dealt with the menace of holiday crafting before, what have you learned? What tips can you bestow on other poor sweet angelic family members and desperately worried friends to help them deal with this scourge? I polled a sample of local non crafters to determine what tips they had for you.

If you have additional tips to add, let me know and I'll edit them in!

They said:

- compliment them, and remind them that not every gift has to be handmade (my sister)

- make sure they get enough fluids and some rest so they can meet their non crafting commitments (my dad)