Parodies and carols

Happy Chanukah! Happy Advent! I had a Chanukah gaming thing that I was going to do, but I didn’t finish it in time, so I’ll either post it next week or next year. Instead, I’m going to share my writing project. I seem to get these ideas every year, so I write them down. 

Meet… the Yarn-, Math-, RPG-, and Book-Related Christmas carols (not all of these may be present, this is just a few things)! Some of these people have probably seen before; heard before, more likely, actually because I was singing in the shower when I came up with several of these. And not all of these are complete or good parodies. I write them when I think of them. 

O Crochet Tree (O Tannebaum)

Oh crochet tree, oh crochet tree, how lovely are your stitches. You stand so soft and cuddly, you are so warm and snuggly. Oh crochet tree, oh crochet tree, how lovely are your stitches. 

We wish you a merry knit-mas (we wish you a merry Christmas)

We wish you a merry knit-mas, we wish you a merry knit-mas, we wish you a merry knit-mas, and a happy new yarn! 

Stab the Halls (Deck the halls)

Deck the halls with natural 20s, fa la la la la la la la la. Stab and smite and kill for funzies, fa la la la la la la la la. Aggravate the dungeon master, fa la la la la la la la la. I’m now banned from playing casters, fa la la la la la la la la. 

Fast away the en’my passes, fa la la la la la la la la. D and D has too many classes fa la la la la la la la la. Shout we joyous all together, fa la la la la la la la la. As we search and loot for treasure, fa la la la la la la la la.

See the GM burn before us, fa la la la la la la la la. Strike the bard and join the chorus, fa la la la la la la la la. No railroading by any measure, fa la la la la la la la la. All we get is mimic treasure, fa la la la la la la la la. Fa la la la la la la la la! 

The Twelve Days of Yarn (the 12 days of Christmas)

On the first day of Christmas, my best friend gave to me: a pattern and some coffee. 

On the second day of Christmas, my best friend gave to me: two DPNs and a pattern and some coffee. 

On the third day of Christmas, my best friend gave to me: three yarn balls, two DPNs, and a pattern and some coffee. 

On the fourth day of Christmas, my best friend gave to me: four crochet hooks, three yarn balls, two DPNs, and a pattern and some coffee. 

On the fifth day of Christmas, my best friend gave to me: five project bags, four crochet hooks, three yarn balls, two DPNs, and a pattern and some coffee. 

On the sixth day of Christmas, my best friend gave to me: six knitting needles, five project bags, four crochet hooks, three yarn balls, two DPNs, and a pattern and some coffee. 

On the seventh day of Christmas, my best friend gave to me: seven point protectors, six knitting needles five project bags, four crochet hooks, three yarn balls, two DPNs, and a pattern and some coffee. 

On the eighth day of Christmas, my best friend gave to me: eight spindles spinning, seven point protectors, six knitting needles, five project bags, four crochet hooks, three yarn balls, two DPNs, and a pattern and some coffee. 

On the ninth day of Christmas, my best friend gave to me: nine grafters grafting, eight spindles spinning, seven point protectors, six knitting needles, five project bags, four crochet hooks, three yarn balls, two DPNs, and a pattern and some coffee. 

On the tenth day of Christmas, my best friend gave to me: ten goats a’eating, nine grafters grafting, eight spindles spinning, seven point protectors, six knitting needles, five project bags, four crochet hooks, three yarn balls, two DPNs, and a pattern and some coffee.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my best friend gave to me: eleven looms a’weaving, ten goats a’eating, nine grafters grafting, eight spindles spinning, seven point protectors, six knitting needles, five project bags, four crochet hooks, three yarn balls, two DPNs, and a pattern and some coffee.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my best friend gave to me: twelve sheep a’shearing, eleven looms a’weaving, ten goats a’eating, nine grafters grafting, eight spindles spinning, seven point protectors, six knitting needles, five project bags, four crochet hooks, three yarn balls, two DPNs, and a pattern and some coffee!