Solo Meditations, Solo Games

 This week has been a little hard for me, and there’s nothing I can do about it. I feel out of control and I’m having trouble coping. So I thought today I’d talk about using solo rpgs as a sort of guided meditation, as well as share two that I recently finished writing. 

Update, March 27, 2021: I messed something up with the permalink Thursday when I tried to rename the post after I published it, and I had to unpublish and republish the post to fix it  I apologize if it shows up twice. 

Second update: Unpublishing and republishing didn’t let me change the permalink, so I’m sorry if it shows up twice for absolutely no reason. 

Third update: fixed, after yet another unpublishing and republishing. I think. And at the expense of having to change the date. It was really bugging me.

Solo RPGs are, in some ways, very similar to a guided meditation. I downloaded a few (okay, more than a few) that I found for free (I’ll add some I like at the end), and they all have something in common. You’re supposed to sit quietly and reflect on the experience you enter into, often answering questions the game offers (which takes the place of a reactive GM). Maybe you get a physical record at the end, maybe you interact with something in the real world as you go, but the experience of playing it is a solo endeavor, just you and your thoughts. 

I’ve needed meditation more this week than ever, so I turned to two I’d written long ago (read: 2-3 months ago) and a few I found on the internet more recently (read: I searched up ‘solo rpg’ on google and picked a few random results that didn’t require an account or payment to download). The common thread that unites all of them is the way you’re asked to reflect on a fictional experience, through interactions that are different than those created in multiplayer rpgs. 

What’s fascinating to me is that I loved the physical creation of artifacts in the ones I downloaded, but I unconsciously chose not to add physical artifacts as part of the ones I wrote. I wonder if it’s because I wrote them in places where I didn’t have much to work with (the car, mostly), although the second one I wrote has a physical artifact as a safety tool — a sweater that means something to the player. I think this speaks to the reality of touch; we touch something and know it is real, so maybe creating an artifact is a way of making our experience and our fiction real to us. 

Two solo rpgs that are online for free (although you should support creators if you can! I’m just broke) that I think are especially interesting as a meditation are Alone Among the Stars and Keep Warm in Your Travels. Both ask you to experience the life of a fictional character through the creation of an artifact and keep that artifact as a reminder of your time playing. 

I’m not sure exactly what I want out of a solo rpg to use as a meditation yet, but I think there’s lots that appeal to me (more than I have time to talk about!) and I think it’s an interesting intersection of mindfulness and games. 

The ones I wrote

There are two games here, copied in this post, but if you want to download them or something, I include a google docs link for each game. Feel free to let me know, through comments here or on the documents, if there’s suggestions or things that I should change; I welcome constructive criticism. Please note: I do this for fun. I know it doesn’t look particularly professional, and I’m alright with that for the time being. I don’t really want comments on the formatting, only on the content/gameplay, although if it’s something about the way I’m organizing info, that’s alright. 

Story of a Sweater

You will need a six-sided die (d6) and a favorite sweater. Pick a sweater (or other garment, but for simplicity we’ll call it a sweater) that holds a special memory or good feelings to you; this can be anything, from a handknitted sweater made by your great grandparent, a sweater your grandfather got you for your birthday when you were seven, your mother’s sweater from when she was in college, your sibling’s sweater they wore to prom, a sweater you bought at the store in your favorite color, or any other sweater that means something to you, no matter how much or how little it means. All it needs is a front, a back, and maybe even some sleeves — and good memories associated with it. 

Put on the sweater. While you’re wearing the sweater, you are safe and you are valid. If you feel uncomfortable and want to stop, stop and come back when you’re ready. If you roll something you don’t want to have happen, choose a different option or make up your own. The game is not important when compared with your happiness and safety. 

Over the course of the game, you will create a sweater and its history, through many owners, following the journey of the sweater from the start of its life to the last scraps of yarn being tossed. 

Starting with the back, roll d6 for each part of the sweater. The back is the first owner or the creator of the sweater; reflect or play out how they got it and what they do with it. Next, repeat for the front, to find out the next event in the life of the sweater and reflect or play out that owner’s history with the sweater. Roll once for each sleeve, getting other owners and events in the life of the sweater. If you want, the last part is the additional things — trim, ribbing, button bands for cardigans, collar, edging, etc. Either this or the last sleeve is the latest (or last/final) owner; how do they get rid of it and what happens to it afterwards? 

d6	Back	Front	Sleeve (roll twice, once for each sleeve)	Additional
1	grandparent making it for a grandchild	given to family member (who? Why?)	your choice	borrowed (by whom? Why)
2	parent buying it for child	sold at garage sale	lent to a friend, never returned	found in a thrift store
3	kid’s present for holidays	donated (where?)	left somewhere (did someone pick it up? Where?) — animals?	given as a present (by whom? To whom?)
4	teen buying it at the mall	stolen (from where and by whom?)	stored in a box, discovered by accident (who found it? Why was it left there?)	your choice
5	found on the street, blowing in the wind	your choice	well loved, until it wore out and needed repairs (did it get repaired? Who repaired it? Why was it so well loved?)	stolen from bag (why?)
6	your choice	lost (where? Why?)	sold (by whom? To whom? Why?)	loved until it fell apart (who loved it so much?)

Tree

You are a giant sequoia, towering high above the forest. You will need a d4 and a d6. Find a comfortable spot, perhaps outside, where you feel at peace. This is your grove, where you grew from a seedling to the massive tree you are now. Take a deep breath.
When you feel you are ready to grow, roll d4 and answer one or more of the questions in the corresponding section. Think about what the answers mean, and perhaps reflect on what the answers mean for your life, if you feel like it.
1. Root. What strengthens your connection to the earth? Who helps provide for you? Who sat on this root and confessed to you?
2. Branch. What does it feel like when the wind rushes through your branches? What animals make their homes on this new branch? What do you see, spreading out below you?
3. Ring. What memories did you make this year? What have you learned? Who have you helped this year?4. Event. This is something that breaks up your peaceful life. Roll a d6 to pick an event, or come up with your own. What happened? How did it affect you?
    1. Fire. How did it start? What burned? How did you regrow, and how long did it take?
    2. New tenant. An animal moves in; what does it look like? How does it behave? How does it change you?
    3. Visitor. Who stops by? What do they want? Why have they come? How do you help them?
    4. Flood. How deep does the water get? What do you lose, and how do you respond to its absence? How does this affect your roots?

    5. Drought. How long do you have to wait for rain? How does this change your grove? How does the long-awaited rain feel as it falls on you after its absence?

    6. Humans. What do they take from you? What is destroyed, and why? How does this affect you? What do you do to strengthen yourself after they leave?